there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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