Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
