I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i barfeds in our rink
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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