I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
