I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
