The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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