Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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