hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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