I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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