One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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