when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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