Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Randomize
