Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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