You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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