Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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