Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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