It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
