I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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