I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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