You're completely useless in the revolution.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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