My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
