All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
