i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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