She's JV to your varsity
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
