wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
