The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
