i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
