WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
