I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
