I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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