Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
