Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
