people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
