just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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