I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Enjoy the penises
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
