would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
