Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
