I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
