My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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