if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
