like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
