Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
