so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
