Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
