Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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