Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
