Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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