You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Mom said you looked used
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
