Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
