when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
