Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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