You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
